Late-Night Comics Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Immigration Program

TV's prominent entertainers devoted the broadcast mocking former President Donald Trump's recently unveiled visa program, labeled the "Trump card," portraying it as a obvious pay-for-access system for the rich.

The Late Show's Pointed Analysis

Opening his program, Stephen Colbert presented a mock Christmas song directed at the commander-in-chief. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, and then giving that list to the people at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... destroys each thing he handles."

The subject was the controversial initiative that permits international individuals to acquire U.S. residence for a sum of $1 million dollars, or "premium" tier for 5 million. The program's website promises approval "in record time."

"One message for you to affluent foreigners: prior to you fork over the cash, what about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He noted that the card is also intended to "get cash" from businesses looking to hire foreign workers, with large payments. "That's a lot of fees, though if you enroll, you additionally get two free nights at a hotel of your choosing – as long as it's the that one hotel," he continued.

"Unprecedented background check the U.S. government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these people absolutely are eligible to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert responded. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the initiative the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"It's a card that will let wealthy foreigners to live here," he stated. "For a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your selection."

"Maybe it's time to change that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your tired masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel lampooned the lack of detail of the form, observing it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Indeed, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Affordability Struggles

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's plunging poll ratings amid economic anxiety. "People gave Donald Trump a second term because they were mad about the economy," he said.

Recently, in a effort to address cost of living, Trump held a press conference in front of a selection of food items, where he reacted oddly to some cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."

"He is so fucking weird," Meyers said. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by mocking right-leaning news arguments of Trump's financial record. "Perhaps instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he remarked.